Of Darkness

You have absolutely no idea how exhausted I am. Completely rid of all will to write or y'know, live and function in general, due to crying about Les Mis and being sick (thank you to all my blockmates who accidentally gave me the flu -- now we suffer as one). So this is going to be horrid. 



i kept shaking, do you remember? 

you told me to stop but i couldn't. the world was terrifying, so much, i couldn't breathe. you told me to stop worrying because i would blow them all away. they wouldn't know what hit 'em. you said i was the purest thing you'd ever seen, and that the world wouldn't know what to do with me. and that i should stop worrying. and shaking, especially that. 

your hands trembled, i remember.

they were much bigger than mine but so unsteady. i held on to one, because i didn't like being apart from you. your skin on my skin wasn't helping the shaking, but it was a great comfort. the most original substance in the universe, you said. unmatched, you said. you kissed me quick. sorry, you said. you couldn't help it. 

the world wasn't the way you remembered it. 

it's much darker now; everyone is so sad and no one cares. i am so tired. why didn't you tell me how gray everyone is? i understand why you chose to return though. the sunlight is beautiful, and the oceans, god, the sea is magnificent. the structures, the rocks, towering and massive and breath-taking. i miss your hands; things are lonely down here. 

i can't forget.

you were wrong. they knew exactly what they wanted to do with me: they strung me up on a skyscraper and showered me with glass. dipped me in salt. they let me bleed. they tried to bleed the goodness out of me. how they made me miss your sunshine. i remember passing out for days on end, functioning but not really being quite there. physically, i was there, but my mind was always with you. or else unfeeling.

take me back. 

the world is savage. i'd rather be dead than let them have me. i just want to be in your arms again. you know, we angels, we need to stick together. i miss the scars on your back and the way you looked at me like i was a child. i'm not, you know. i've hurt too. they've tried so hard to ruin me and i can't do this anymore. you were always the strong one. 

i'll wait for you. bring me home. 

hold on a little longer. 

days 19 and 20: transformation and tremble